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Black Mage
Backstory Now this is a story All about how my life Got twisted upside down And I'd like to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the Black Mage Of TR In west Mysidia Born and raised Academy o' Magic's where I spent Most of my days Chilling out, maxing And casting all cool And all shooting some Fireball Outside of school When a couple of guys They were out to do good Started fightin' crime in our neighborhood I killed one or two classmates, and the Dean got scared She said your exiled To the Kingdom of Cornelia And so followed the events of 8-Bit Theater. During the course of TR RP, Black Mage has stabbed several things, set Pallet Town ablaze, failed to hit on White Mage during her brief cameo, and on several occasions syphoned love from the universe. Recently he was surgically implanted with a miracle given physical form, resulting in gaining a soul and a (although relatively weak) good conscience. Appearance Black Mage is normally depicted as a short, fat man in a robe, with a face covered in shadows. As of recently, his left arm was blown off by a missile, and replaced with a prosthetic Snag Machine. With his hat off, Black Mage undergoes a most horrific transformation. The robe he wears becomes an exoskeleton, and he grows to about the size of a small house. Where his (lack of) a face once was, a gaping maw lined with razor sharp teeth and covered in spines and beady little eyes appears. These features upon it follow no rhyme or rhythm, seemingly tossed on at the last second without any care or interest. His arms become huge, scythe-like claws, while several more burst from his sides, acting as insect-like legs. From his back sprout many black, armor-plated tentacles, which flail around wildly as if guided by a mind of their own. In the midst of these flailing appendages, two glowing eyes gaze out. Staring too long into their abyss, the onlooker sees the faces of their loved ones, bleeding and covered in vile pus, slowly consumed by age and disease, and then devoured in hellfire. He has lost the ability to take this form after he was given a soul. It is unknown what he currently looks like without his hat. Can absorb evil to become even more eviler, in which case he glows red and shoots black tendrils of energy, which, like most of his strongest abilities, he sucks at aiming. Personality Black Mage is an asshole. He loves to burn, break, stab, maim, murder, antagonize, steal, and cheat. Still, he is not beyond sitting for an hour or two and arguing over comic characters and which spells are better, in a relatively friendly manner. With the recent addition of a 'good side', he has fits of generosity and kindness, though these are laced with poorly formed insults. Abilities Black Magic Spell List: *Thunder *Thundara, which he sometimes likes to call "Electric Death" *Thundaga *Meteor *Meteorite *Flare *Hadoken (various types) *Fire *Fira *Firaga *Stone *Eye-beams *Hypno vision *Heat vision *Necromancy *Float *Teleport WARP (All caps is necessary when using the word WARP. Deviance from this rule will not be tolerated) *"Re-Write Reality According to My (Sarda's) Whim" Spell (which does not work on Sarda, the one time he tried it, it simply added the words "you moron" to his speech bubble. Based on the only time he tried it, it can be implied that the spell only rewrites reality according to Sarda's whim.) *"Spell that hurts Black Mage" This spell is a spell cast on him by Sarda that made him vomit his intestines out. Black Mage then tried to cast that spell back on Sarda, but as he discovered, "When Sarda casts a spell to hurt you and you learn that spell, you learn to cast a spell that hurts you." Blue Magic: *Goblin Punch; (As he called it, "Inna NERTS!". It also apparently created a small atomic blast. It is less a punch, and more a kick to the groin.) *Dark Pulse "Even more Eviler" Spells: *Dark *Darkra *Darkga *Death *Helldoken (fueled by hatred and evil rather than love. Returns Black Mage to normal) He cannot access anything other than Blue Magic while he has a soul, as it interferes with the channeling of his magical energies. In addition to his magic, Black Mage is a master of the Stabbity Death style of martial arts. He has slaughtered everything from villages, cultists, sea monsters, and his allies with the use of his mighty stabbing techniques. Unfortunately, his ATK sucks, so it takes a lot of stabbing to get anything done. His robe is usually either a Thunder Robe or Fire Robe, depending on whether he wants to burn or electrocute things that day. Wearing Thunder Robe unless otherwise stated. Pokemon Wonderfag- Wonder Guard Spiritomb, taking levels of White Mage, likes to bake cake Ran- Sadistic Ranpuraa, loves to torture people Flo- Haunter, kleptomaniac, thrill seeker Venom- Skorupi, possibly has ADD Alfredsson M. Shineshell- Missingno. Orange- Tangrowth, overly curious Bill- God of Fire Furret with an eyepatch Gray- Shiny Umbreon, lazy, anagram of Gary, who has an Umbreon. Coincidence? I think not. Corona- Volcarona, motherly, overprotective, loves to cook Sigil- Sigilyph, stalks people Magnemite- Statement: He is a Magnemite. Corphish- Retired, used to be a movie star. Ditto- Carries a tomahawk, easy to piss off, murderous, rescued form Hell by Black Mage Manfred- See article on Manfred Erin- Shiny Aron, young and naive DeathSatan- Swinub, utterly clueless Canada- Bibarel, wants to be a gangster Dratini- Dratini, still young and impressionable, probably going to grow up to be a serial killer at this rate